you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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