Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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