she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
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Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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