Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
