i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
