Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
