Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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