Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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