Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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