how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
