What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
