I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
