weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
