I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
