yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
