Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
