is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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