just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
