Sry I called you an 8
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
