If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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