You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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