Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms

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(330): View more from Ohio

Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.

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(281): View more from Texas

Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

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(518): View more from New York

Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated

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(416): View more from Toronto

Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?

(1-416): View more from Toronto

Why do you even have to ask me that question

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