used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
