It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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