I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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