You're completely useless in the revolution.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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