I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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