We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
