i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
