He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cockslap morals
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
