hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
