:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
