i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
