Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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