i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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