I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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