just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am naked and annoyed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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