and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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