I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will be naked everywhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
