He asked to "fluff my boner.."
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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