i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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