so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have feelings that need drinking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
