look no pants
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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