The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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