You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
