he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
