im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
