im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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