This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My vagina is officially offended.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
