In the future we'll all be gay
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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