Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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