So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
