i think my tv is drunk
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
