He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize