Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
