Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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