he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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