I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
